Having a loved one perform your wedding is becoming more and more popular and we are fully behind this trend! It creates a more intimate feel and adds something extra special with a whole new level of personalization to the ceremony.  So, what do you say?! Want to have a friend officiate your wedding!?

Here are the In’s and Out’s to successfully have a friend officiate your wedding

Ordained – This is as simple as going online clicking a few buttons and Boom it’s official. You should also determine if your friend needs to get registered with the court (only applicable in some states). You can get ordained HERE.

Work together to write the script- The high degree of personalization is the number one perk of having a loved one officiate your ceremony. Together you can brainstorm personal stories and discuss anything unique you may want to incorporate. Make sure you include all the necessary elements — See our general structure below for helpful tips in this area.

Practice, Practice, Practice – They will probably do it anyway to calm personal nerves but just in case tell your officiant friend to read and re-read the script. To themselves, in the mirror, and even to a few other friends or family members for practice.

Discuss what your friend/family member should wear – This person is going to be front and center of most of your ceremony photos so pick something in tune with the theme of your wedding (for example a suit vs. an Aloha shirt)

Do a rehearsal – This is important for not just your officiant friend but for EVERYONE in the wedding party to know what to expect, where to be, what to do, and to calm some nerves! Check out our Blog Post on why we think it is important to hold a rehearsal.

Have your friend bring a printout copy of their script (especially if it is outdoors). Technology is great, until it isn’t and you don’t want any iPad malfunctions during your ceremony and put your friend in a position of either having to wing it or read off their phone. Unless you have a sleek, professional-looking iPad cover it will look much nicer in photos if the officiant is holding a nice book with the hard copy of their script rather than an iPad. If you decide to go with an iPad we recommend sticking a hard copy of the script on the cover as a backup plan.

Where to stand – Make sure you discuss and practice in the rehearsal where to stand — directly in front of the arch, right between the couple, centered with the aisle. This is helpful for everyone walking down the aisle and an indicator for where the bride and groom should stand to look best for photos. Remember- there is no harm in making adjustments once everyone is up there.

Phones – Ask your officiant friend to put their phones away to allow for the photographer to capture the ceremony.

Don’t Forget – “Rise for the bride” and “please be seated” are often forgotten during friend officiated ceremonies which can often leave guests quite confused or wondering what they should be doing!

Mic-  Speak into it, not over it

The Kiss!! Remind the officiant to step to the side after they ask you to kiss! This is primarily for the sake of the photos (tip: stand to the side and applaud the couple)

You are on camera!! The officiant is front and center of all your ceremony photos. Remind them to look up, smile, and be present as much as possible while standing up there!

Welcome – General welcome to everyone present, acknowledging all important parties and thanking everyone on behalf of the couple for being there

Officiant’s Message – this can begin with a story of the couple, your relationship to them, but meant to also tie together the meaning of the marriage and why its foundation is important.
–(If you decide on any readings, these normally go here)

Personal Sentiments – This is the personal vows if the couple both chooses to partake in this!

Marriage Vows – These are known as the universal “I Dos”, there are many versions online

Ring Exchange – Normally words of wisdom on the significance of rings in a relationship, but most importantly what it means for THIS relationship 🙂
(If you decide on any other additions – sand ceremony, unity candle, etc. they would go here)

Pronouncement – This is where you can explain the foundations behind the official notion that they’ve been married and “by the power vested in me, in the state of Hawaii, I now pronounce you…”

Kiss!!!

Introduction – New introduction as husband and wife, discuss how the couple would like to be formally introduced for the first time!

This is THE most important part!!  Make sure everyone signs the marriage license where it is required. Your officiant needs to return the completed marriage license to the state within the required timeline to make it OFFICIAL!!!

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